


Obscure Words

by kathiann



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 05:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 2,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathiann/pseuds/kathiann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of drabbles based on list of obscure words. One for each letter of the alphabet. Written for the October 2013 challenge on Paint it Red.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Agastopia

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the October 2013 challenge on Paint it Red. List of words I'm using as my inspiration can be found here: voxy blog/index. php/2011/03/ weird-english-words-from-a-to-z/

**Agastopia: n. – admiration of a particular part of someone’s body**

She stood in the doorway, watching Jane’s chest rise and fall gently. He was sleeping and she loved to watch him when he was so relaxed. Far too late in the day for coffee, she had helped herself to Jane’s stash of teas in the cupboard. The floral sent filled her nostrils and warmed her belly as she continued to watch his chest. His jacket bunched up under his head, shirt and vest pulled tight over his chest, she could imagine what he would look like shirtless. She shook her head to clear the image and returned to her office.

 


	2. Bibble

**Bibble: v. – to drink often; to eat and/or drink noisily**

“Rigsby, could you stop for maybe ten minutes?” Lisbon asked, looking over the cars center counsel at him in disgust.

“What?” He asked mouth full of noodles.

“Eating. It’s disgusting.” Lisbon looked away, unable to stomach any more of his display.

“Right. Sorry. It’s just that Grace has me on this diet.” He put the container of noodles on the dashboard and picked up his drink from the cup holder, taking a long drink that resulted in a loud slurping sound to echo through the silent car.

“You know there’s nowhere for you to the bathroom out here, right?”

“Oops.”

 


	3. Cabbatage

**Cabotage: n. – coastal navigation; the exclusive right of a country to control the air traffic within its borders**

“The Coast Guard says they’ve had issues with smugglers all up and down this segment of coats line.” Van Pelt said, sliding her phone into her pocket and walked towards where Lisbon was standing looking at a beached speedboat.

“Aren’t they going to come down and look at it?” Lisbon asked, clearly annoyed.

“They didn’t seem all that bothered by it.”

“A boat washed up on shore covered in blood and they aren’t going to come check it out?”

“Nope. They said that blood was our department and to just call if we needed help identifying it.”

“I hate people.”

 


	4. Doodle Sack

**Doodle sack: n. – old English word for bagpipe**

He never liked funerals. He went out of his way to avoid then. But this was different. He didn’t talk about his time in the military, there wasn’t much to say really. Too much pain involved, but the man in the flag draped coffin was the one man he thought would never die. Such a waste of a death. Not by a bullet in war, not by the hand of a drug dealer in his second life as a cop. But of cancer. His normal stoic face cracked as the honor guard saluted. He didn’t care who saw him cry.

 


	5. Erinaceous

**Erinaceous: adj. – of, pertaining to, or resembling a hedgehog**

Rigsby looked in the mirror. He never should have trusted that barber that Jane recommended. The man was constantly in need of a haircut. He sighed. There wasn’t much he could do. Tufts of hair stuck up at odd angles and there were patches that were shorter than the rest. How was he going to explain this to anyone? He had even scared Ben when he’d gone to pick him up after it happened. Seriously he’d cried and not wanted to leave Sarah. All he could think about was that Jane was going to be laughing hysterically at him tomorrow.

 


	6. Firman

**Firman: n. – in Turkey and some other Oriental countries, a decree or mandate issued by the sovereign**

“New rule!” Lisbon called from the front of the SUV. “No Mexican or Chinese before we hit the road.” She looked in the rear view mirror at Rigby who looked more than a little uncomfortable. Silently he rolled down the window.

“That’s not really fair.” Jane said from the chair next to her.

“Yeah, well you didn’t have to drive with him for four hours last week after he ate three bean burritos.”

“That’s not really his fault.”

“Yeah, well I’m not taking any chances. Today it was every chicken option on the take out menu at Po Po Garden.”


	7. Gabelle

**Gabelle: n. – a tax on salt**

“The ME is going to have a hell of a time getting prints off of him.” Jane said with no preamble as he surveyed the body.

“She looks like a mummy.” Rigsby said, using his hand to cover his eyes over the glare of the sun off the salt fields.

“He’s a man.”

“ _She’s_ wearing a dress.”

“Since when is that a requirement for being a woman? No, he is definitely a man. A good looking one at that…at least at one time.”

“Are you saying he’s a cross dresser?”

“Yes.”

“Ok. Well, that’s at least some place to start.”


	8. Halfpace

**Halfpace: n. – a platform of a staircase where the stair turns back in exactly the reverse direction of the lower flight**

They chased the suspect down the hallway. This had to be the longest building in the state. The man kept glancing over his shoulder, loosing precious headway every time he did. They were coming up on a dead end and Lisbon smiled internally. This was it. And then the man pushed through a door way and she groaned. Stairs. Why was it always the stairs? But the stairs had slowed him down, he wasn’t used to running. She did the one thing she always did in these situations. Se channeled her inner fullback and jumped from the higher steps onto the quickly retreating man. She was going to be sore, but at least they caught their man.

 


	9. Impignorate

**Impignorate: v. – to pawn or mortgage something**

“You realize that receiving stolen goods is a crime.” Cho said, his face a blank slate.

“How was I supposed to know they were stolen?” The pawn shop owner looked a bit anxious. If Cho had to guess, he would say that half of the merchandise on the shelves was stolen and that the owner knew it when he had purchased it.

“A junky comes in with a $5,000 watch and you don’t think to ask questions or at least check it out with the police?”

“I don’t ask questions. I just give out the money you know?”

“Yeah. Right.”

 


	10. Jentacular

**Jentacular: adj. – pertaining to breakfast**

“I’ve got donuts for everyone!” Jane called, bouncing into the bullpen.

“The real question is if you have coffee.” Rigsby said, his voice muffled from where he had it resting on his desk.

“You are entirely too perky for this early in the morning.” Lisbon said, grabbing a donut from the proffered box, her own cup of coffee in her hand.

“I’m not the one who called everyone in here. I was already awake.”

“Still no call to be so damn cheerful.” Lisbon mumbled walking to her office.

“What, no thank you for breakfast?”

“No. Let’s get to work people!”

 


	11. Kakorrhaphiophobia

**Kakorrhaphiophobia: n. – fear of failure**

There was only one thing in his life that had continued to bother him, no matter how old or experienced he got. The fear that he kept hidden, even from himself at times. He was afraid of failing. Failing at life, failing at work, failing at relationships. Just life in general. Failure with Red John. Failure at the second chance he hope to get in love. Failure as a father and husband. And that was the worst part. He had failed there. It only served to reinforce his fear. He knew it was illogical, but he was helpless to it.

 


	12. Lamprophony

**Lamprophony: n. – loudness and clarity of enunciation**

There was one thing that Virgil Minelli never missed about his time at the CBI. The yelling. At his bosses, at his subordinates, at his pain in the ass consultant. Patrick Jane, a thorn in his side since Minelli had laid eyes on him. And now, against all odds, he was being called as a character witness in his murder trial. That bastard Red John had finally been done in. As he stepped into that old building to meet with his favorite senior agent he suddenly felt old. The memories came back and it was like he had never left.

 


	13. Microsmatic

**Microsmatic: adj. – having a good sense of smell**

“Watch this.” The cop said to the rookie at his side. “You’ll never see anything else like the way that this team works.”

“Why aren’t we handling this homicide?” The younger man was still new on the force, but he knew that last week when there was a drive by shooting they had handled it all the way.

“We call them in on the tough ones, or the ones that are political.” The older man started to say something else but stopped when he saw Jane bending over the body.

“Did he _smell_ it?”

“I told it was an experience.”

 


	14. Nudiustertian

**Nudiustertian: n. – the day before yesterday**

If someone had told her a week ago that she would be sitting in a jail cell in the middle of the Mexican desert she would have told them they were crazy. If someone had told her two days ago that Jane was going to be indicted for murder in a foreign county she would have laughed. But here she was. And when she got out of here she was going to track Jane down and kill him herself. And then, once that was done, she was going to really go on the run. Somewhere tropical and not so dry.

 


	15. Oxter

**Oxter: n. – outdated word meaning “armpit”**

“I know the state of California is going through some budget issues, but this is ridiculous.”

“It’s not like anyone could have predicted that the engine would blow a gasket in the middle of the desert.”

“You’d think that they would keep their fleet better repaired. It’s embarrassing.”

“You’re only complaining because you’re starting to smell.”

“It’s over 100 degrees out here; I’m surprised that we haven’t melted.”

“We could fry an egg on the asphalt.”

“We don’t have any eggs. We’re stuck in the middle of the desert waiting for a tow truck and the rest of the team.”

 


	16. Pauciloquent

**Pauciloquent: adj. – uttering few words; brief in speech**

“Are you telling me that this guy can tell if someone is guilty just by looking at them?”

“That’s why we borrow him so often.”

“I bet he’s useful.”

“Yeah, you just have to be careful of his “handler”.”

“His what?”

“Lisbon, over in serious crimes. She gets pissed if anyone borrows him without her permission.”

“So, why don’t you just ask her instead of risking her wrath?”

“Are you freaking kidding me? She’d never say yes, and besides, this is way more fun.”

“If you say so. But I’ve seen her taking on men twice her size and winning.”

 


	17. Quire

**Quire: n. – two dozen sheets of paper**

She may have been raised on a farm, and her parents might be card-carrying members of both the NRA and GOP, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t still have the spirit of conservation in her. This amount of paper waste was just an abomination. She didn’t understand why the CBI couldn’t just go to electronic files. If hacking was the concern then they could solve that problem by not connecting whatever was holding the files to the internet. It really wasn’t all that hard. She held up the file from the last case. It was almost an inch thick.

 


	18. Ratoon

**Ratoon: n. – small shoot growing from the root of a plant**

“A potato? Really? That’s how you knew she was the killer?”

“Well, yeah.”

“How?”

“Well, most people know that if left alone long enough potatoes will grow roots if left alone long enough, but not very many people know that you can get one potato plant from each root.”

“And?”

“Well, I assumed that she must have had some experience on a farm. She probably would have also at least seen an animal butchered, hence her ability to do that to our victim.”

“You didn’t think that was stretching it just a little bit?”

“Well, no. Especially as it worked.”

 


	19. Salopettes

**Salopettes: n. – high-waisted skiing pants with shoulder straps**

Sitting in his garage were a set of expensive skis. They had only been used once. He bought them for Angela as a Christmas gift the year before Red John. She loved the idea of snow and skiing, though neither of them had ever been. He planned an elaborate vacation for the whole family, but it never happened. He’d picked work over time with his family. They went without him. Angela only used the skis the first day. She told him later that the whole point of skiing was to do it with him. Now he wished he had listened.

 


	20. Tittynope

**Tittynope: n. – a small quantity of something left over**

Holidays when she had been younger had always been about family and food. Her mom and grandma would cook for days; there would be more food than they could ever eat in one setting. They would have leftovers for days after. Just the thought of open-faced turkey sandwiches made her yearn for her mom’s tart homemade cranberry sauce. It had ended all too soon and the leftovers turned into nothing more than a distant memory. After her father died she found a box buried in his closet filled with her mom’s famous spiced nuts. She kept it, thinking of her.

 


	21. Ulotrichous

**Ulotrichous: adj. – having wooly or crispy hair**

When she first moved to California, she had the same mistaken idea that many did. She thought it was all beaches and movie stars. Turned out she was only partially wrong. She had learned that the wind in the desert would blow a fine silt over everything, getting in her hair and clothes, drying out everything it touched. In less than the week it took to close the case her skin had turned into parchment and her hair had dried up worse that it did in the winter. She leaned to pack moisturizing shampoo and conditioner plus extra body lotion.

 


	22. Valetudinarian

**Valetudinarian: n. – a sickly or weak person, especially one who is constantly and morbidly concerned with his or her health**

“I’m going to die” The suspect moaned, clutching his hands to his chest.

“No you’re not.” Cho said, sitting across the interview table.

“When was the last tie this table was washed?”

“I don’t know. Maybe last night.”

“Do you know how many people touch this every day?”

Cho just looked at him, not bothering to answer.

“I’m going to die in here.”

“Should have thought about that before you stabbed a man.”

“Stabbed someone! You’re crazy! Do you know how many germs are on a dead body?!”

Cho sneezed loudly and then smirked when the witness fainted dead away.

 


	23. Winklepicker

**Winklepicker: n. – style of shoe or boot in the 1950s with a sharp and long pointed toe**

“Van Pelt I want you to check local missing persons, see if you can find anyone who matches her basic general description. Go back ten years or so.”

“Oh she’s going to want to go back further than that.”

“What are you talking about, Jane?”

“Those shoes she’s wearing haven’t been in style since the 1950’s.”

“How the hell do you…you know what? Never mind. Van Pelt, check missing persons form the 50’s and 60’s.:

“Save some time Grace, just look for the women who graduated from UCLA.”

“You are impossible, you know that?” Lisbon said as she walked away.

 


	24. Xertz

**Xertz: v. – to gulp down quickly and greedily**

She awoke with pain she hadn’t felt since the last time she was shot. Hot, dry, bright, too bright. There was something soft against her check and she turned her face into it. It was cool and felt soothing against her cheek. Against her better judgment, she opened her eyes. Her head started pounding, hut she ignored it. She was in a hospital bed, her arm bandaged. She _had_ been shot again. She saw a pitcher of water and a glass on the table next to her. Struggling she poured a glass. It was like liquid gold in her mouth.

 


	25. Yarbrough

**Yarborough: n. – hand of cards containing no card above a nine**

“You’re going to play poker with Teresa Lisbon?”

“Yeah, I mean, why not?”

“You’re going to lose your shirt.”

“How would you know?”

“I am not new here. You are.”

“How tough could she be?”

“Hey Cho! Johnson here’s going to play a few hands of Texas hold ‘em with Lisbon tonight.”

“I hope you aren’t attached to your pay check.”

“Maybe this was a bad idea.”

“Too late now. Here she comes. Oh, and it looks like Jane is playing too. Man you’re never going to be able show your face in the building again.”

“I’m going to lose.”

 


	26. Zoanthropy

**Zoanthropy: n. – delusion of a person who believes himself changed into an animal**

“He’s been crouching on the table for the past hour, surveying the room.”

“He’s looking for mice; it’s been a few hours since he’s eaten.”

“Stop playing into his delusion.”

“It’s not my job to tell him he’s not an owl.”

“We need him to stop being an owl so we can get some information out of him.”

“Good luck with that.”

“I can’t believe this was our only witness.”

“Well who else would have been in a barn yard at midnight?”

“A murderer. Maybe he was the one to do it.”

“He didn’t kill that man, he’s an owl.”


End file.
